Most Common Problems in Hyperactive Children: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) presents a lot of difficulties for parents. Clinical and school psychologist Dr. George Kapalka says, “Children with ADHD often leave their work unfinished, have difficulty dealing with their homework, and are unable to maintain integrity in performing assigned tasks.” Acting on motives is another problem and can put children in a rebellious and quarrelsome situation. Margarita Tartakovsky shares advice on parenting children with ADHD, which we at Uplifers bring to you.
Clinical psychologist Lucy Jo Palladino says parents have trouble keeping order without pressure. “Children with ADHD know what to do, but they don’t do what they know.” As a result, families may not know where to be hard and where to be patient. At the same time, families have to deal with the difficult balance between trusting their children’s abilities while protecting them from the snares of ADD.
Fortunately, there are effective methods besides these problems. Here are a few strategies for parenting children with ADD.
Most Common Problems in Hyperactive Children
Hyperactive children and parenting: 15 tips for overcoming the most Common Problems in Hyperactive Children
1. Calm down.
Both Kapalka and Palladino emphasize the importance of staying calm. Kapalka adds: “Once a parent gets out of control, the child becomes angrier and this interaction has unconstructive consequences.” So if you have behaviors such as being reactive, lean towards this point.
Arguing with your child will get you nowhere. Take, for example, homework time, which can turn into contention. Arguing about it distracts the attention, causing the assignment to take longer than usual. Palladino suggests: “Tell him, ‘I know this is boring for you,’ and it’ll be followed by silence, positive anticipation, and a touch of love. The wrong thing to do here would be to tell your child things like, ‘Stop talking, you’re wasting your time.”
2. Set limits on your own behavior.
If you tend to be an anxious and helpful parent, remind yourself that the more you do for your child, the less he will do for himself. The keyword here is support; Not sitting in the driver’s seat.
For example, you can offer to help him with his homework, but you should not pick up a pencil and try to do it together. If you want to keep an eye on your child while he or she is working, do your own chores with him at the same table.
3. Organize but don’t create pressure
According to Palladino, this layout includes star charts for younger children, the use of calendars and planners for older children, and clear rules and logical routines, especially for bedtime. Saying that order reduces clutter and distraction, Kapalka adds: “Set a study time for your child to finish their homework and reward them after they complete their tasks. You can also collaborate with your child’s teacher for a consistent study routine.”
As we mentioned earlier, it’s best to avoid pressure. So what about an order without pressure? We can cite as an example the order that is established without threatening, setting unattainable goals, and inflicting punishments that will create hostility, fear, or drama.
4. Give your child the chance to make wise choices.
To teach children self-control, parents need to give children choices. Palladino proposes the ‘structured option’ that will give your child the chance to go in a chosen direction: Ask your child questions like “Do you want to do your math homework or science homework?” or “The room needs to be tidied up before leaving the house. Do you want to start with the clothes on the bed or by tidying your desk?”
5. The consequences of breaking the rules are reasonable.
To start with, Palladino suggests to parents: Ask your kids what they think should be the consequences if they break a rule. This helps children keep their own created promises.
In addition, create positive results for positive behaviors and negative results for negative behaviors, and make sure that it is consistent. This will allow your child to see what kinds of behaviors lead to what kinds of results.
6. Know that the rules will be broken and don’t take it personally.
Breaking the rules occasionally is in your child’s ‘mission statement’. Dr. Palladino says, “If your child breaks the rules, do as the traffic police do when they give you a ticket. The police don’t take your mistake personally and whine at you or say, ‘I don’t believe you did it again! Why are you doing this to me?’ she doesn’t shout. Behave like the police, be respectful, consistent, and focused.
7. Support your child when necessary.
Because of ADHD, your child may need some special situations. But that doesn’t stop you from encouraging your child to nurture their skills.
Palladino’s tip for striking this difficult balance is: “Support him in adapting to talking about books, but also encourage him to learn to read fluently, give your child your time and attention, and most importantly show your belief that he can do it.”
8. If your child is holding his head high, don’t silence him.
As Kapalka said, one of the mistakes parents make is; “Her character is to turn strong and willing kids into someone who never questions authority and accepts everything you say as a parent.”
Instead, parents need to accept the fact that their children will rebel and respond to them. “Parents should recognize that children need to express their anger, but they should also set reasonable standards and rules.”
9. Be aware that your child is not deliberately misbehaving.
“Parents of children with ADHD unconsciously make erroneous assumptions about why their children misbehave,” Kapalka says.
In reality, children are very goal-oriented and do their mischief in the hope of getting the result they want to get. These are things they usually want or avoid (such as homework, housework, or bedtime).
10. Be persistent.
According to Kapalka, children with ADHD may need more experimentation to draw conclusions from their experience. If you do not get any results after trying a method once or twice, it does not mean that the method is completely ineffective. What you have to do is keep trying.
11. Tackle one issue at a time.
Parents need to decide which issues are most important and start dealing with them from there. Less important concerns should be temporarily left behind so that one problem is tackled at a time.
12. Help your child adapt to changes.
Children with ADHD have trouble adjusting to changes in situations. Especially when they are overly focused on any one activity.
No matter how busy you are, give your child the time and information they need to mentally adjust to big changes, Palladino says. Big changes include a vacation, a guest, or a new caregiver; We can also give examples of small changes in what the next activity is, especially if the next activity is bedtime.
13. Focus on your child’s strengths.
Focus on what your child can do instead of complaining about what they can’t do. Remind yourself of your child’s creativity and resourcefulness. His stubbornness and free will, which annoys you today, will make him a strong individual in the future. Picture him as a tireless entrepreneur, lawyer, or doer of whatever he desires.
The most important thing for families to do is to maintain balance. Don’t deny that he has special needs, but don’t identify him with those needs either.
14. Treat yourself tolerantly.
Raising children whose symptoms are impulsive, rebellious, and coping with a problem with limited self-control is a very challenging experience for anyone. So realize that you have put in a lot of effort and as Kapalka says, “Don’t feel like a failure. You are not the reason your child is engaging in these behaviors, but you are the person who can make a difference.”
15. Enjoy being a parent and being with your child.
Raising a child with ADHD can seem like a very frustrating and sometimes unachievable task. But don’t let ADHD destroy the joy of being a parent.
According to Palladino, there are a few things parents can do when they get tangled up. For example, when you are going through difficult times, try to remember how you felt when your child was first born.
Palladino offers this tip: “If you start correcting your child’s mistakes a lot, but the ring or watch on your other hand/arm and don’t put the watch or ring in the right place until you think or say something positive about your child.”
At the same time, remind yourself how grateful you are for your child’s existence and what this has taught you by having self-talk, Palladino says.